Change

There has been SO much exciting new things going on in our lives. We are now MARRIED and we enjoyed the most fantastic Honeymoon of our dreams in St. Lucia. We just moved into our beautiful renovated home today. However, not all change is always good and we are learning to cope with the not so good change.

Once we got back from our honeymoon, I noticed Bleu was just not really being himself. I kept thinking that this behavior was probably because we were so stressed out and our routine was out of schedule for months now and he was trying to cope. Our first night back home from St.Lucia, Bleu was drooling excessively, panting heavily throughout the night, drinking tons of excess water and although it has always been a problem- he was eating anything and everything in sight. This hadn't been something that we have dealt with for a while since he is older but it definitely was like having a fresh puppy again. I told Holland I felt that something more was going on and wanted to get him to our vet to get checked out.  Our family vet that usually sees Bleu was our of town for the month of July so they referred us to another vet.  After doing some research, I came to the conclusion( since I am a vet and all :)) that Bleu had Cushing's Disease. He had all the symptoms.  Even the vet we met with thought he had it but after blood tests and a sonogram the only things they could find out that were wrong with Bleu was that his liver was a little off with enzymes and that he has a slight UTI. He has to get blood work done again after his medication is done in 4 weeks time to see if that helps.  He also has a spot on his spleen that they want to watch to make sure it doesn't get any larger. So off I went with Bleu and his tub of meds to take.

 Two days after our visit to the vet Bleu started to run into things.  Now looking back, Bleu could have been having trouble with his vision from a while ago, but I still am not positive. He stayed with my parents while we were away and they noticed nothing of this and thought he was getting around fine.  However, at our house he started slightly bumping into things as we were packing up the house for the move.  I called our vet and he had me take him off one of the 5 medicines he was taking to see if that would help with his drowsiness.  I decided the next day to take him to see an eye specialist. DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE JUST EYE DOCTORS FOR DOGS AND CATS? I am amazed. Anyhoo,
we knew that Bleu had extremely dilated pupils and I was still thinking it was from the recent medication he was on.  After his eye exam I was informed that Bleu is showing signs of retinal degeneration. The doctor told me there were 2 kinds of this- one being curable and one where Bleu would eventually end up blind. I got more antibiotics and eye drops to put in Bleu's eyes 4 times a day for the next 10 days to see if it helps his vision or not. I remember saying to the vet : " So, my dog could just go blind?" " That's it?" "Why?" I felt like an over bearing parent and he calmly told me how dogs are very resilient and they can lead a very happy life being blind.  I decided I would not get upset until I knew for sure what the outcome would be and that would be in 10 days at the beginning go August... we would know.

 That day I took Bleu to the new house since our rental home was being shown to potential new tenants.  We had no furniture in the new place, just cabinets installed in the kitchen. Bleu ran into everything.  It was heartbreaking.  I never knew how much he knew our soon to be old house until we got him into the new one.  I took him outside and he ran into the fence, he struggled to go down stairs. Not only are his hips terrible but now this.  I kept pushing back my worry saying that it was going to be fine. The medicine will help and "It hasn't even been 24 hours yet!" and so on.

 The next morning our Vet called so I could inform him on what the Optometrist had said. I said " Oh, well I bet Bleu has the curable kind of retinal degeneration." No way he can go about seeing fine one day and terrible the next, right? He told me that I needed to not get my hopes up. While there are "curable" kinds of eye diseases, most are not. What damage is done is done and that's that. This vet has been extremely kind and supportive but he just does not know ME and how crazy I am about my dogs. I started to cry on the phone- I cried out of frustration, sadness and guilt.  I knew there was something going on with Bleu, but never did I think of this as an outcome. I think he heard my crying as a " I don't want to deal with a dog like this" and then kindly suggested that he wouldn't judge me if I wanted to continue on with my life and put Bleu down. I let him know that was never even an option. I was not even thinking how this new information was going to change my life, I was thinking about Bleu. "Is Bleu still happy?" "Is he going to care if he can't see?" "How much can he see?"Our vet let me know that the best thing I could do right now was to provide Bleu with a stable environment.  SO guess what? We moved into the new house without all of our furniture that night.  This has helped him tremendously. He got to know the house without the furniture and today he bumped into a few things but now he knows the house with the furniture.

I know that dogs are not meant to live forever. Bleu is 8 now and my goal has always been to get him to 13! In my family, our dachshunds, since they are little always have a lifespan of 16-20 years old so I think I am making a good compromise on 13 years for Bleu! As long as Bleu has a good quality of life he isn't going anywhere. I cried a good 5 times on Thursday. Like ugly sobbing cry which I have not done in a long time. My cousin and one of my best friends were texting me and they gave me the best advice- Love on Bleu. He just needs to know he is loved and that you're going to help him along the way. Hannah has been an extra help too. I have been keeping her collar on her so she can jingle and he can follow her.

I will know more in the next few weeks with how our Bleu is doing.  I know he is content and happy and I just have to remind myself that when I get sad.  If you have any ideas or past experiences with pets and blindness please send any literature or tips my way.  I want to do anything and everything I can to help him with this change.

In the meantime, we're going to "Just Keep Swimming".

Love,
Amanda